Say My Name

Tall suit - ASOS/Tall Bodysuit - ASOS/Necklace - Candid Art/Shoes - Calvin Klein via Nordstrom Rack

Photography and makeup - Nikki Notarte

Today I presented a concept at work that I have been cultivating for over 2 years now. It was the 4th time I had pitched the idea and I’m happy to report that it was well received. I was and am elated that my idea will go in to motion but I realized something about my presentation today that was and is incredibly disturbing…

I never put my name on it.

Somehow I believed that my idea that I had poured into, crafted and toiled to bring to the surface didn’t deserve my name.

Yes. This could be an honest mistake but “mistakes” like these often have a deeper meaning.

I, like probably every woman on the planet, have had to fight at times for my opinion to be taken seriously because I am a woman. I have been undervalued simply because of my gender. There have even been times when the good ol boys club purposefully excluded me from information that was imperative to my success. And the list unfortunately goes on…

All of these things are hurtful and silently damaging to the strongest of women. They chip away at you and if you aren’t careful dry rot your confidence. You start second guessing yourself and before you know it, adopt the exact insecurities they are dealing and leave your name off of your masterpiece.

What we need to realize is that the club rejects us for a reason; we are a clear and present threat. The people that discriminate against women, both consciously and subconsciously, do it because THEY are insecure. It’s a symptom of their sick ideology. It’s not for you to understand but it’s certainly something that you can’t consume. Leave it right there on the table.

I say this as someone who let it get to me, gave in from time to time and believed the lies to her core. I let them use my strength against me but NO MAS.

I will stand up for myself, know I am fully capable, continually voice my opinions and protect my space at all costs. This woman is here to roar and most certainly will use a permanent marker to write her full government name on anything she accomplishes.

Get out those sharpies ladies…it’s time to sign your names like you have never signed before! We have a lot of ground to cover. I say we start with their foreheads ;-)

The Dogs That Bark

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks." -Winston Churchill

This past weekend I was in Vegas during the Mayweather vs. Maidana fight. As you can imagine there were a ton of people in town. I mean it was packed everywhere you went. Now you know, with a lot of people, come a lot of stares and ridiculous comments. I couldn't walk 5 feet without catching someone pointing at me or hearing those loud whispers they think we are deaf to. Some people just outright screamed from across the room dang you tall girl. It was a display of tall ignorance at it's worst.

Normally I let the comments roll off my back. But I have to say for the first time in a long time it bothered me. Not annoyed me...straight made me upset and ready to lash out at every single person who did anything in reaction to my God given inches.

I was pissed.

I started calling out people, checking them and returning their rudeness with some vile rudeness of my own. I morphed into one of them for a brief moment.

How dare I let them win.

While I internally calmed myself down, I thought about the time and energy it took to reciprocate their remarks. It was a sheer waste of time and the only person it hurt was myself. My blood pressure went up, ugly words invaded my mind and spilled out of my mouth and I became what they wanted me to become.

While it was only for a brief moment, I remember when I lived life like this. I let every comment and stare feed my depression. Yes, we are all human. Yes, we will have moments. But what you must stop, RIGHT NOW, is living a life where you stop for every dog that barks.

With the gift of height, comes some challenging moments BUT the blessings far outweigh the rough patches. If you focus on the rough moments, you will live a rough life. If you focus on the blessing, you will live a blessed life. I know, I know. How cliché of me. This may be something that many people say but that doesn't make it any less true.

So stand tall, hold that head high and walk past those barking dogs with the fiercest walk possible. I guarantee you...it will silence them faster than any stone will.